JustJenn

I can't fall asleep until I get this off my chest. I feel like my family doesn't appreciate me and that I'm just not good enough for them. I mean my extended family and not my mom's side. I'm just really aggravated lately. One thing that is really annoying is the fact that they treat my boyfriend like shit. He has never done anything mean to anyone, so I don't understand why they are so mean to him. They might be joking, but it's not funny anymore. I really wish I would have stuck up for him the first time they ever said anything, because maybe they wouldn't say anything anymore. And now he doesn't ever want to be around them. It hurts me that they only treat MY boyfriend like crap. They don't understand that it hurts my feelings. I'm done letting them upset me and I'm done not defending myself. The next time they say something that is even the tiniest bit offensive I'm gonna say something. Hopefully I will actually go through with what I'm saying. I don't wanna cause problems within my family, but technically they are the ones causing the problems. Another thing is that my one cousin seems to be nicer and happier when talking to everyone except me. I feel like she feels I'm not good enough to talk to her. I guess I'll just get over it, but it's not that easy. It sucks that this is my family that's making me feel this way. I don't think they really understand what family means. I thought I did but I realized I didn't once I was introduced to a real family. I've been really angry lately and I really think the root of it is the feeling of unappreciation. But today I had a really long talk with someone and I felt special for the first time in a really long time. I'm going to forget about all of the stupid shit that upsets me and live like there's no tomorrow. I really want to be happy all of the time and I really am a happy person just not lately. Well, I really feel a lot better now. Now it's time to try and fall asleep and wake up tomorrow with a smile on my face (: